you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
