If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
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