So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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