I wanna bring you to show and tell
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
