is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
