I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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