Kiss
Puke
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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