I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
