I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
