Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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