At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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