It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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