I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
