i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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