I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
