dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
