i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Randomize
