How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
