I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
