I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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