Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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