Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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