She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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