Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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