Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
My dad just said "fuck circus"
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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