is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
