dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
