everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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