Acid is not a monday night drug
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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