By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
