please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
