Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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