dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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