fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
