I murdered the dance floor call the cops
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
accomplished twins. life is a go
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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