I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
