I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
