dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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