No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
