My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
