He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
