i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
