Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
