Yo dont text me then not text me
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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