She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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