i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
