I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
