You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Still dying that you shit outside
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize
