My hand turned me down
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
