but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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