like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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